Reality Vs My Concious

After So Long In My Plight To Gain Acceptance About My Anxiety, I Have Always Wondered If The Birds Where Ever Speaking To Me, I Am Starting To Be Lost In My Own Actions, I Know It To Be True In Some Context That The Person That I Was Persuing Was Also Persuing Me, But Never Meeting In The Middle. Being In Haste I Know I Should Be Around Her, But With The Deeds Of Before I Am Not Knowing Where I Stand, Even Though I Dream Of Her Now And Then My Heart Is Nearly Given Up. As Has She,

I Know I Can Not Look At Another Until I Find A Cure, Needing Information From Her Lips And Eyes,

I am a Transparent On Being Of Two Minds, Some Of Which I Have Grown Accustomed To Being Alone, And Other Trying To Reach Out, But I Have Never Really Lived A Life That Was Filled With Love, Only From the Parents I Had,

I Hope I Have Not Hurt Her In Any Way, Emotionally, I Did Not Mean To Make This A Source For Revenge Hatred As I Had Bottled A lot Of My Feelings Up For Soo Long,

I Say With All Envy I Am Cursed, Listening To Birds In My Neighbourhood For All Time, They Are Starting To Die Down But Always Come Back.

Mental State

The moon at night darkens with every minute that passes, up comes the sun to take away the
blues, Down comes the rain to wash away all the miseries, I say to you become not a Fool but an elegant human, broken plants strive to get well, branches unfold for nature’s commodity, every whim has its due, I am but a mere fool. I have said what I must, but deep within the earth has silenced me. I am trying to grow for sealing in all the light, I say listen to brothers gold, I am damaged and need to be reborn, taking in the vaccine that doctors do describe, living in doubt that I can hear you, a fathers pride has sent me messages “he makes me happy” for he can only use by carrier bird, i listen to what people do say, in angst, I must stay, please do me a favour and forget this charade.

 

I meant no harm on many levels, but thinking of one I must say empathetic, to love you is to not be with you, I hope someday my life changes, but all I see is your hurting heart, I do not want you to be hurt, or come to harm. every day passes that I know I will never be beside you but seen my future I had seen it true, for I wish I could turn back the hand of time, make all well and still be friends, all I have created was a feud between us, I still have heartburn thinking of you, anxiety kicks in on more than one, listen to your brother and all will be well. I am saying this because I do not want you to be hurt. live by your morals and see a happier day,

 

I know that we have never truly met face to face living by boundaries I do not climb, you will become upset reading this, but you will mend in time, I am the fool and not you, seeking is what I have done, never catching what I created my line, I know it is you who is trying soo hard to surround me with all your arms. people tell me lots of things that may be true, such as you living in another’s arms and glued to your children that mother does, but I have heard my father that this is not, I live in an only dream and that is all I can do. my illness is my curse. you will be well after you lay me in past, find the one you will, I state no names for all concerned. I hope you have a better life than what is now, be yourself and be true. I have meds that try and mend all that I have done, thinking people were trying to kill me I stayed up all that night, talking and listening to what had been said, getting information about them by psychic connection, that is why I am mad as I am, I don’t know my self what I am to be, having too many voices that I can control,

To be honest, to love you I must let you go. you are my valour
and strength, I bequeath your life without me.

please be happy and not sad, find your partner and love him so. For I must be alone.